--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I look at Brian standing next to me, studying his face. He's a little pale, but then again, so am I. I know that we need to confront our families, I know that we need to tell them that we love each other, and that it doesn't matter what they say, we will always be together. I know all this, but that doesn't mean that this is going to be easy. AJ is here with us as well. He's the one who has arranged this meeting. Inside the room in front of us is both our families, and Howie and Kevin as well. I know that we have to go in there, that we have to stand up to them, and that we have to try to make them see that us being together is not a bad thing. I think that last part is going to be next to impossible. But that doesn't mean we won't try. We've been through so much together, and I refuse to give up now. I refuse to let our families come between us. I know that this could split our families, but I don't care. I really don't. I love Brian , and nothing in the world is going to come between me and my man. ***** They will be coming through that door soon. Nick and Brian. I can't believe that they actually think that they can do this. How can they believe that what they have is love? It is so wrong, it is obvious. Yet they are blind, because they can't see what everybody else does. Nick's mother is worried, worried that her son will go to hell because of what he had Brian has done. She worries that he has damned himself, and Brian too, and that his damnation will in some way rub off on to them, and they will be damned too, for not helping their sone get out of the mess he's gotten himself into. She worries a lot, but she had every right to do so. I put my hand on her shoulder, and try to calm her down. What else can I do. "Don't worry Mrs. Carter" I say, and she looks at me, asking me why she shouldn't worry. "They will come around, I promies you" I say, and now she wants to know why. I have everybody's attention now, and I don't care anymore. I've kept my mouth shut about this for so long, but I can't do it anymore. This needs to come out, and it needs to come out now. "They don't love each other. I don't think they even know what love is, at least not Nick. He thinks that what he feels for Brian is love, but it can be nothing more than lust. The devil and all the evil powers has made his mind blurred and weak, and he lusts for another man, his best friend. Brian is corrupted in the same way, his mind has also been manipulated. But they will fight this, with your help, and they will win. They can still be saved, because this is not love, it is not real, and it will pass." They all stare at me in silence, nodding, as if they understand. Then suddenly the door slams, and everybody turns towards it. ***** I grab Nick's hand. It is time for us to enter the room now. This needs to be done, and it needs to be done now. I put my hand on the knob, holding his hand tight, giving AJ a slight smile. He will be there to support us, and I know that we will need his support. I open the door, and I cannot believe what I hear. "....don't think they even know what love is, at least not Nick. He thinks that what he feels for Brian is love, but it can be nothing more than lust. The devil and all the evil powers has made his mind blurred and weak, and he lusts for another man, his best friend. Brian is corrupted in the same way, his mind has also been manipulated. But they will fight this, with your help, and they will win. They can still be saved, because this is not love, it is not real, and it will pass." I think my jaw dropped to the floor, and I loose my grip on Nick's hand. He takes another step into the room, and behind us AJ slams the door shut. I look at the speaker, not understanding why he just said those words. I thought I could trust him, I thought that he would at least back me up. I guess I was wrong, very wrong. He's supposed to be my cousin, my blood, but right now, it doesn't feel like it at all. ***** I look at Kevin, and react. I rush towards him, and slam him up against the wall, just like he did to me all those months ago when he found out about me and Brian. OK, so it hasn't been that long, but that doesn't matter. That doesn't make what he said right, nor what I am doing wrong. "How could you?" I can hear Brian ask, and I feel a hand on my shoulder. It's AJ, and I know that he wants me to let Kevin go. I drop him, and he falls to the floor. "Answer me" Brian says, his voice still steady, calm. I can't understand how he can be calm, not after hearing what Kevin just said. I want to rip his throat out, and I know that if I'd been alone with him I would have. I turn to look at my parents. They look so sad, yet angry. I guess my behaviour isn't exactly helping our case. But I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. Me and Brian can do what we want, and no matter what they think, we do love each other. And we will be together forever. "Mom, dad, Littrell's, Howie, Kevin, sit down. We have something we want to tell you, and you are going to listen, no matter what." I look at Brian when he says those word, and I know that he will do the main talking. That is a good thing, since I tend to just yell, or speak without thinking. Right now, we need to think about what we say. ***** They all listen to me and sit down, and I am happy that they do so. I move to stand next to Nick, and I take his hand. AJ stands a few steps to our right, acting as our guardian in a way. He's there for us, if we need him. "Mom, dad, I know that you are dissapointed. I know that I may not seem like the man you wanted me to be. I know that you feel like I've let you down. I know all this, and I am sorry. But you are the ones who told me once to go with my heart, to listen to it, and to do what it told me. My heart told me that Nick was the one for me. Don't ask me to explain it, because I don't think I can, but I know that I love him. Kevin can say what he wants, but he doesn't feel what I feel. He doesn't know how I feel alive everytime I look at Nick. He's the sun, the moon and the stars. He's my world. Without him, I don't think I would be able to go on. He's my lifeline, and I hope that you can all understand this, and in time, learn to accept it and love us both, even if we are gay." It was a long speach. I hadn't meant to say all those things. I had it carefully planned, down to the last word, what I was going to say. But somewhere along the line I forgot about the words I had memorized, and I spoke from the heart, just as my parents always told me I should. From their faces, I think I made them understand. I doubt that they will do a one eighty and overlook what I am, but at least now I've got them thinking, and in time they will come around. "Brian" my mom says, her voice cracking. OK, so I made her cry, and I don't know if that is a good thing or not. Maybe it is, at least I hope so. "Mom" I say, and damn it, my voice is cracking as well. I can feel Nick's grip tightening on my hand, and I'm thankful for it. "Brian, I'm so sorry. I.. We.. We can't turn around completely, we can't support you one hundred percent right away. It is hard. You know.. We love you son, and we will do our best. We will try to understand. We will, but it is hard." I can feel a tear running down my cheek. "I know mom. And I cannot ask for more than that you will try." ***** I look from Brian to his mother. They will try. We got more than we asked for from them. They will try. Now there is only my family left, but I think that making them understand will be about as easy as walking on the sun. In other words, next to impossible. Or, well, walking on the sun is impossible, but work with me on this one will ya. I'm in a very delicate situation, so my metaphores may stink at the moment. I turn to look at Brian, and I think a tear is running down my cheek. I cannot believe all that he said. I knew it all, I knew that he loved me, and I feel the same way for him. But still, it feels so good to hear it, to hear him speak it with such passion in his voice. He is all that I am, and without him, I will die for sure. "I love you" I say, and he whispers the same back to me. I lean down to kiss him. Just once, just a small soft kiss. Or at least that was what I meant to do. Our tongues meet, battling in my mouth, and then in his. I run my fingers through his hair, and I feel his hands running down my back. He tastes so sweet. A little salty, a little sweet, a lot of Brian. I love him, and I pour all that love into this one kiss. ***** Brian's speach was good. I felt it into my own heart, and I know that his family did the same. I can tell by their expressions, by the way they look at him and Nick now. They don't look at them the same way they used to. They have a new understanding in their eyes, and I think that it won't be too long before they come around. Nick's family on the other hand looks as if they just heard the devil himself speak. I look at the two of them. They are kissing, which is a familiar thing I suppose. I mean, I've seen that a thousand times. Or so it feel like. Of course now, if it was only kissing they did, I wouldn't have had a problem. But you see, if I don't stop them right now, they may very well have sex right here in front of us. I've seen them do alot, but this is not an image I want in my head. "GUYS" ***** I pull away from Brian, panting. Who yelled? I look around. FUCK! I think somewhere in the soft kiss I was planning I totally forgot where I was. My shirt has been pulled out of my jeans, and the sweater I had over is gone. Fuck it. Brian is good with making my clothes disappear, but I have a feeling this was not the right time to do it. His parents look at us, and his mother has a small smile on her face. OK, so she can see the humour in it. That is a good thing I guess. Now, my mom on the other hand. She looks like a tasmanian devil. I grin at Brian's parents as I lean down to pick up my shirt. "Sorry. Lost my sense of direction there for a second" I say. "Forgot where I was". Brian's mom wasn't too happy about what she saw, I know that, but at least she can smile. At least she is trying. Brian is looking down on the carpet. Don't ask me why. I know that is it red, with some sort of black letter thingy on it, but I sure as hell can't tell what's so damn interesting about it. "Brian" I say, and he looks at me. "I grin at him, and he grins back. "Love you" I say. "Love you more" he replies, and I'm about to answer him when my mother says. "I cannot be in here anymore" She gets up and walk towards the door. I could stand here forever, speaking to my love. Because we are ok now. I know that. We will make it, and we will be together as long as we live. But before we can live, I need to tell my mother something. "Mom" I yell, and she stops with the door knob in her hand. "We are what we are, nothing can change that. I just hope that with time you can see that, and learn to accept us both for that what which we are." She looks at me, and then walk out the door. In time she may learn to understand, but for now I feel that it is a lost cause. But I can live with that. I love Brian, and he loves me, and togehter, we will conquer all the world. FIN.
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© WHYTEknight 2002-2008. This story is fiction, which means it is not true, none of this is real. Any actions similar to reality is just a coincidence. This story may be based on real people, but it is not about real events. I do not know the Backstreet Boys, nor am I in any way affiliated with them, their friends, family or management. Again, this is a work on fiction, I made it up! |
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