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"Hello mom" I say, trying to make it appear that I'm looking at them, when what I'm really doing is avoiding eye contact.

I know, it's a lame thing to do, but what else can I do?

My parents are looking at me like I'm a freaking plague with legs. My brother won't look at me, and my sisters seem like they wanna be anywhere but here.

I can't believe they actually brought my siblings. I was expecting my parents to come, but I wasn't expecting the entire fucking family.

Brian's parents looks like they are about to cry. They look dissapointed, but at least their looks can't kill. My parents would have killed the entire hotel by now, if looks could kill that is. Right now, I think I would prefer death. I'd prefer anything if it meant I didn't have to be here now.

"Nickolas" my mom says, her voice sounding shaky, and I know she is trying very hard not to scream and yell at me. She is not dissapointed, she is angry.

I take Brian's hand, needing something to hold on to, a lifeline of some sorts. He holds my hand hard, as if he too need a lifeline. I turn to look at him, and give him a small smile. He tries to smile back, but his pale face drowns the small smile, and I know he is more scared of being in this room than he is of skydiving.

He looks at his parents, and they look at him, his mom's eyes filled with tears, and his father looking away. I can see in Brian's eyes that he is about to cry as well, but he won't let himself.

I lead him over to a place where he can sit. There's only one empty chair left in the room, and I let him have it, placing myself behind him, my hands resting on his shoulders.

I look at my parents, and I know that they are not the ones who are to talk first. My mom has this look on her face that tells that she is going to shut up now, and leave the lecturing to someone else.

My thumb is running small circles on Brian's shoulders, out of sight for our families, and I think it is relaxing him a little, because he is able to speak without his voice cracking.

*****

"Mom, dad" I say, and look at them.

I can't believe they are here, and I can't believe that we are going to have this conversation.

I should have told them long ago. I shouldn't have let them find out this way. I should have told them, but I was too much of a coward to do that.

"Brian" my mom says, looking at me, her eyes filled with tears.

"It is true isn't it?" she asks.

I look at her and nod. "Yeah, it's true" I say. Nick is standing behind me, soothing me with his touch, and I'm glad he's there. I know he might not be able to say much now, but he's there, and that's all that matters.

"Why Brian?" she asks, and I don't know what she means. Is she asking me why I'm gay? Or why I never told her? There are so many possible answers to this one, yet I fear that all she wants to know is how I got like this, so corrupted.

"I just fell in love mom. That's what happened. I fell in love with Nick, and he fell in love with me."

She nods, but I don't know what she means about it.

"How did he make you like this? What did he do? Where did we fail? We raised you good, we gave you everything. Where did we go wrong, to make you into this, this thing?"

I look at her, my eyes wide open. I can't believe she just asked me that! I can't believe how she can think that they failed somehow. I can't believe that my own mother just asked me what she did to make me gay.

I turn to look at Jane and Bob, who's been quiet so far. They understand, they have to. They'll help me make my parents understand that there is nothing wrong with us.

"Don't look at us Brain" Jane says, and I'm confused.

"What?" I ask. I can feel Nick tense behind me, and I'm wondering if he knows something I don't.

"We are not going to help you, not in the way you think. You and Nick are sick Brian. You're not in love, you've just been corrupted by the devil. But we'll help you. We'll get you through this, and find you some nice women. You may be corrupted beyond repair, but we will do our best."

Her voice was angry, yet she talked like we were children that needed to be punished. She talked like we had no clue what was going on, and like she knew everything.

I get up, staring at both our families.

I can't believe that they are both so fuckings narrowminded.

I have to get away from here, from this hell hole.

I get up, and run out of the room.

*****

I stare at my mother as she talks, but she is avoiding all eye contact with me.

I stare at her, and I hate her.

I hate her for what she told Brian, for what she said about us, and for the way she looks at people like the two of us.

Brian flees the room, running out the door and slamming it shut behind him. I stare at our two families, finally able to talk.

"Great job. Why didn't you just hit him with a fucking sledge hammer while you were at it" I yell at them, before I run after Brian, slamming the door even harder than he did.

*****

I know where he's going, and I enter his room, locking the door behind me, as I head for the bedroom.

I find him there, lying on his stomach on the bed, crying softly. I sit down on the bed next to him, and rest my right hand on his back.

"Brian?" I say, hoping he'll turn around and talk to me.

"Go away" he mumbles.

"Brian!" I say, the questioning tone gone from my voice.

He turns around, and gets to his feet, jumping off the bed and turning towards me. His eyes are red from crying, and his face is wet, a few tears still running down his cheeks.

"What do you want?" he asks, angrily.

"Brian, come on. I know they hurt you. They hurt me as well. But don't take it out on me." I say, trying to calm him down. I reach out for him, but he hits my hand away.

OK, something is wrong here.

What the fuck did I do?

"They hurt you? FUCK Nick, why didn't you tell me that your parents are worse than mine? I went in there hoping that they would help, but instead they treated me like a child, a child that just happens to have the black plague or something. You should have told me."

He's yelling now, and I can't be calm anymore. Is that it? Is he just mad cause I didn't tell him how bad my parents would react.

"Maybe I should have told you. But I couldn't ok. I'm embarassed of the way they think and act around gay people. I didn't know how to tell you, and I guess I didn't think it would matter. And Brian, I didn't want you to know how bad my parents really are" I say, trying my best to control my voice, but it isn't easy.

He looks at me, his face drained of all color now, but anger still evident in his eyes.

"You didn't want me to know? Fuck it Nick, you knew that sooner or later we'd have to tell them, and I'd find out. Or maybe that's it. You didn't want to tell me, because you didn't think I would ever find out. You never thought this would last, so why should you tell me when chances were I'd never find out anyway."

I look at him, too shocked to even say a word.

I can't believe that he just said that. How can he think that?

I should tell him that it is not so, but in the mood he is now, there is nothing I can say that will calm him down. So I only look at him, before I turn around and walk out the door, slamming it shut behind me.

Fuck Brian.

 

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