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I look at the door, or whatever you call the opening of a plane. For the sake of my sanity I'm gonna call it a door. I don't think I can deal with long and difficult words right now, or words at all.

I look at it, and I know what I have to do.

I know that in a few minutes we're all going to go ut that door, and be greeted by fans. Fans who'll want to know why we lied. Why we never said a word, how it happened, why it happened. They'll want to know why we are the way we are, and I don't know if I'll be able to explain it to them.

We have a plan, and Brian has done his part, the most difficult part, calling Leighanne. What she said was disturbing, to put it mildly.

This is her revenge, telling the world, before we got a chance to do it. Heck, she told the world before we got around to tell our families, our management, anyone at all. We never told the boys, we were discovered. We were thinking about telling our families this coming week, but I guess that is out of the question now.

Cause they already know, and now they're gonna want an explanation to why we never said anything. I think we're just going to sit them all down together, and then tell them, because I don't think I'll be able to go through that two times, or more.

Hell, I don't even know if I'll be able to get through it once.

The door is opening now, and I take Brian's hand.

That's part one of our battle plan.

We have to show the world that we don't care if they know. We have to tell a lie, that we were going to tell the whole world on the press conferance later today. We have to make it look like we were planning on going out with it anyway, and for them to think that, we have to pretend we don't care that they know.

That is going to be one of the most difficult things in my life.

Because I do care.

Right now my hands are shaking, and I don't know if I can do this. But I know I have to, I know that. I just...it's hard.

We did all we could so no one would know. Then the boys found out, and it took us some time to get used to it. Now the entire world knows, and we didn't even get to tell them.

We didn't get to choose the time, we didn't get to decide that it was right. Leighanne took our choice away from us, and told the whole world. She made Brian the bad guy, and God knows what I am.

The worst part is, it's not because she loves Brian so much, it's for revenge. He cheated on her, but she couldn't tell. She promised not to tell. People thought she left him, and treated her badly, so she decides she doesn't want to do this anymore. So she tells the whole world, not caring about me or Brian.

I fucking wanna kill her.

*****

He takes my hand as the door opens, and I look at him, putting on my best smile, trying to look happy. He looks at me and smiles as well, leaning down to kiss me. Our first kiss in front of others, and I can't help but think that I wish it had been under different circumstances.

"All ready?" Kevin asks, and we nod. Then he walks out of the door, and into rain of flashes. AJ and Howie follows, and me and Nick are last, walking out hand in hand, trying to appear happy and in love.

The in love part is easy, because I truly do love him.

It's the happy part that's the trick.

I just hope we can pull it off.

The people there are screaming, and the runaway and hanger is filled with both fans and journalists.

We walk down and start to move towards the car. Our security makes sure that no one comes too close, not even the journalists. "You can ask them all the questions that you want on the press conferance in two hours" I hear Marcus say, and I'm so happy they are dealing with this.

Kevin and Howie go over to sign some autographs, and I can hear some fans screaming mine and Nick's name, but I don't turn around. The two of us walk directly to the car, and AJ follows us, waving to the fans, but not going to close.

In the car we sit for a while, waiting for Howie and Kevin to come, and then we're off. First to our hotel, just to have a quick change, and then it's off to the press conferance.

This is going to be hell.

*****

They are trying their best, they truly are.

They say they love each other, and that they were going to tell the world soon, they just had to talk about it first.

That is not what we are going to tell the fans and the press.

I hate lying to my fans, to our fans.

But I know we can't tell them the truth.

It's impossible, since I seem like the only man who knows the truth.

They think they love each other, but they don't.

They like to fuck each other, but that is also all there is.

I hated their relationship, and I always feared it would endanger the group's future.

I was right.

When they find out that they do not love each other, all hell will break loose, and this group will be history.

What I was afraid would happen has happened. All I can do now is pray that I am wrong, cause if I'm not, then we've got one hell of a storm coming.

 

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