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FUCK!!!!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

FUCK!!!!!!

How could she? How the hell could she?

She promised us she'd keep her fucking mouth shut, and then she goes and does this. Doesn't she understand how important it was for her to keep quiet about this? Doesn't she get that we don't want anyone to know yet, that it was supposed to us who told the world?

I knew she was blonde, but FUCK, now this is just worse than me, and we all know how I can be sometimes.

Brian is so pale right now, I'm afraid he's dying on me.

Nobody's said a word in minutes, we're all just shocked. I think the radio is broken, cause I can't hear it anymore.

Don't ask me how it got broken though. The last I can remember is the thing flying through the air. I Kevin had it before that. It doesn't matter though.

That's just a minor detail, compared to the hell we'll be going through from now on.

This trip was supposed to be a good thing for us, to promote our new album. Now we have to deal with questions that we don't have the answers to. And we have to deal with the fans. With them it can go two ways. They can accept it, or they can hate us for it.

I swallow, and look around in the room, before I get enough coruage to talk.

"OK" I say, and look at Brian.

*****

God, Leighanne, how could you?

Don't you understand that me and Nick needed more time to deal with this. That we're not ready to tell the world yet?

We still have so much we need to figure out, but now I'm afraid we might not ever find out everything. There is still so much we had to talk about, and we thought we had time. You stole the time from us, and for that I hate you now.

The next time I see you, I'll be sure to tell you that.

Everybody's so quiet. I think the only reaction we've got so far is Kevin throwing the radio accross the room, pretty much wrecking the thing. Not that I blame him, but it shows this isn't easy for him. He's been in denial for so long, avoiding to deal with it. He can't do that anymore, which is good. I just wish it hadn't happened this way you know.

"OK"

I turn to look at Nick, and give him a small smile, trying to tell him that I'll be alright. He smiles back at me, happy to know it.

"Yeah" I say, and turn to look at the others.

Bill only stares at me, while AJ and Howie looks shocked, yet relieved. I believe they are happy it's out in the open, but they didn't like the way it got out in the open.

"Is there any truth to that?" Bill asks, and I look at Nick. Well, it's pointless to try and hide it now, so I look at him and nod.

"Yeah, it's true. Me and Nick are, together." I say.

He nods, looking at the others. "You guys knew?" he asks.

"I've know for a while" AJ says, and Howie just nods. Bill looks at Kevin.

"I...I...I knew.." Kevin says, looking at the two of us. "I just...couldn't...deal. Sorry about that cuz, Nick. I...I just...Couldn't" This surely came as a shock for him, cause he's having troubles talking, and that's just not Kevin.

"How long?" Bill asks, anger evident in his voice now.

"Since the end of the Millennium Tour" I reply, not understanding where the anger comes from.

"THAT LONG?" he yells. I nod, looking at him, hoping he'll say why he's angry, not wanting to ask him.

"And you never thought of telling us? Of letting us know you were sharing beds, fucking, doing, whatever it is you do. Do you have any idea how this will damage your career?" OK, so I get why he's angry, but still. He has no right.

"We didn't think it was anyone's business but ours" I say, and stare him down. I'm getting angry now as well. I don't like it when people yell at me for no reason.

"Everything about you is our business" he replies, rather arrogant.

"No it's not. Our lives are our own, and we told you that when we singed on with you guys. Now listen to me, and don't interrupt, or you'll find yourself fired before you can say boo. I don't have to tell you anything. Who I date, who I fuck, and who I love is none of your business. I decide what I want to tell the world, and what I want to tell you. You got that?"

I look at Nick. Damn, he can be pretty scary when he's angry. He close to shouted that at Bill, and I know it sunk in, cause Bill's face is looking a lot less angry.

"Alright" he says, calming down. "Now, I suggest you guys talk about how you're going to handle this. Cause it won't be easy, so I'd have a damn good explanation on why you kept your mouths shut. And Nick, you really love him?"

Nick smiles, and looks at me with love written all over his face, and I don't have to hear it to know his answer.

"I do."

"Good. Now, let's talk about how to deal with all of this."

*****

I look at the phone.

We've got the battle plan ready, and now all that I have to do is call her.

I need to know why my ex-wife sold me out to the press. I need to know how long she'd thought about it, and if she had planned this all along, if she was lying in my face and playing me that day she found out.

There's only one way I can find out, and I know that, so I take a deep breath and dial her number, waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?" I can hear her say, and I almost choke. But I gotta know, I just gotta. So get your act together Littrell, and speak!

"Hi. It's me."

"Brian?" She sounds surprised, and I don't get it. She had to know I would call. I thought she knew me. Maybe she didn't.

"Yeah."

"Why are you calling?" She doesn't get it.

"We've got a radio on the plane Leigh. How could you? You knew we wanted to tell it ourselves. Why?"

"Brian, listen. I've been through hell, trying to not think about the two of you together. I've been trying real hard to make it, but people just kept asking, and I just cracked. I couldn't lie anymore, I couldn't be the bad guy anymore. Cause you are the bad guy, and the world know that now. Now I'm the good one, the one you cheated on, and lied to, and treated like trash."

Well, I get she has issues, but still.

"So, you didn't want people to think you were bad, so you told them eveything. Leighanne, you promised me you'd keep your mouth shut. You said you could deal, that you could lie. If you were having problems with that, why didn't you come to me? To us?"

"To you? You gotta be kidding. That blonde fuck ruined my life. I don't want to talk to either of you. He ruined my life, and now I'm ruining his. Yeah, it's true that I can't deal, but this is revenge as well. See, I win after all....." CLICK.

She hung up.

She told me she hated my lover, that it was all for revenge.

I never did realize she only thinks of herself. I never wanted to believe it was so. Now I know what's truth and what's not.

Now I know how she truly is.

She stabbed me in the back, me and Nick, and I hate her for it.

 

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