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I feel very neglected.

Hey, I do.

Brian is off having dinner with Kev, you know, In-Denial-Kev.

Anyways, I'm horny, and he'd rather be with Kevin. In a dinner kind of way. At least I hope it's that kind of way.

Alright, now I'm confusing myself, that is never good.

I know I'm ranting, and I know that Brian didn't really wanna go, but still, I FEEL NEGLECTED.

I've got a painfull hard on, and Brian is supposed to be here so he can take care of it. Or so I can take care of him. Yeah, that sounds like fun. I love taking care of Brian. I just love the way he moans my name when I slide in and out of him, or the way his hands brush though my hair when I suck him off, or the way he loves to play with my neck when we kiss.

Hey, I love him.

And he's mine, all mine. I would never give him up for anyone.

Even when he's like this. Leaving me alone with a hard on, which is never a good thing.

He said I could ask if AJ wanted to spend time with me, but I doubt he'd wanna be around me and the tent in my boxers.

Cause, you know, that's all I'm wearing right now, and Brian isn't even here.

I hate Kevin. Can't he just get a hold of reality and realize that I'm fucking his cousin. Is that too much to ask for? I think not.

If he doesn't join the world of the Nick-and-Brian-are-gay-and-together soon, I'm gonna give him a jump start and then kick him into it. Cause I'm getting tired of watching what I do around the others.

I guess I'm still not quite into the idea of telling anyone but the fellas, but then again, I can't keep my eyes, or hands for that matter, off Brian. I want to touch him all the time, kiss him, caress him. I can stare at him for hours at a time, studying the lines of his face. I love that face, that body, that cock, and DAMN, I'm horny.

I wanna stay horny til Brian comes back. Somehow, I don't think that's gonna be a problem.

My parents.

God, I don't know if I wanna tell them. I mean, God, I don't even know what I mean anymore.

I know Aaron would be cool with it, he's that kind of person. And I don't think any of my sisters would make that big a deal out of it.

It's my mom and dad I'm worried about. I worry about what they're gonna think, what they're gonna say, what they're gonna do. I want them to know, but I'm afraid to tell them. Afraid that my mom is gonna freak completely, and my dad give me a lecture. I guess it's safe to say they don't love gay people. Don't get me wrong, they don't hate gay people. They....just....sorta don't like them.

I wonder if they'll even like me when this comes out.

And it will come out, sooner or later.

Sooner rather than later.

I don't like the fact that me and Brian'll have to tell the world, but that doens't mean we can wait. Sooner or later we're gonna get caught. I mean, we've been lucky so far. Allow me to mention a sertain broom closet, or two..., not to mention the linen closet in the very beginning, and the bathroom at Brian's wedding. WAIT. We did get caught in the bathroom, by AJ. But you know, that's different. What I'm trying to say is that we have a tendancy to fuck in public places, and sonner or later someones gonna walk in and see something they'd wish they didn't see. Unless they're, you know, weird....

I guess my mind is set them. We have to tell the world soon as well.

God. Families and then the rest of the world. I'm starting to think I'm in for one hell of a winter.

Well, first things first.

And first would be the promotional trip. You know, around the world in 100 hours, locked away on a plane where there probably won't be a place for me to fuck Brian. I don't know how we're gonna make it, cause he's as horny as I am these days.

And we're not gonna have that much time to have fun before the trip either. Cause today it's Monday, and we have to be at the EMA's on Friday. We're leaving for Sweden on Wednesday, which gives me one more day with Brian.

I think I need to start planning for tomorrow, cause I wanna have some fun.

*****

I give Kevin another smile, hoping it'll fit in the conversation.

God, why did I agree to do this. Why did I say yes to have dinner with Kev.

'Because he's your cousin and you have to spend time with him'

Damn, I hate my inner voice. It's gotta be so damn right all the time. Annoying as hell.

I think this night qualifies for one of the most boring in my life.

I've been sitting here with Kev, talking about women and stuff like that for over four hours, when I could be in Nick's room, making out to some movie, or better yet, making love to some movie.

I WANNA FUCK.

I think I'm going crazy, cause now Nick is sitting in front of me, biting his lip. OK, I am spacing off, hallucinating, and that is never a good thing. If I don't get this image out of my head, I'll get one hell of a hard on, which would so not be good right now.

TOO LATE.

Damn Nick and those lips of his.

Oh, Nicky Lips. I want them, need them, can't live without them.

Hm, think I can write a song about Nick's lips?

The answer would be yes.

Don't think it's a good idea though.

I mean, that would be like holding a I'm-fucking-my-bandmate sing over my head.

I can just hear the dj's. And the next song is Nicky's Lips, by the Backstreet Boys. Written by Brian Littrell, about bandmate Nick Carter's lips.

Yeah, that'd just be great.

"Brian?"

"What?"

I look at Kevin again, trying to smile.

"You need to spend more time with other people, and not just with Nick. He's affecting you, in a bad way."

I smile at him. Oh, I kinda like the way Nick's affecting me.

"I'm sorry Kev. You were saying?"

"Well, I told this girl that she couldn't date you yet, since, you know, you haven't had enough time to get over Leighanne. But she still gave me her num......"

Oh God, another one of those stories. I'd wish he'd stop trying to set me up. I really don't like it.

I mean, I have a BOYFRIEND. Kev saw us in the same bed, naked, on top of each other, our faces flushed after the orgasms we'd just had. Why can't he just get over the shock so me and Nick can make out in the tour bus.

I look at Kevin, trying hard to look like I'm interested in what he has to say, so that I can think about naked Nick lying on the bed in his room. My room. Our litte home for the week.

All naked and yummy.

All hot and sexy, ready for me, waiting for me.

I wanna go home!

 

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