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I turn to look at Brian sleeping next to me on the bed. I still can't believe it's true. Brian is mine, he's really mine.

He belongs to me, to Nickolas Gene Carter, one of the Backstreet Boys.

It has been a long ride, and things haven't been easy, but we pulled through it together, and now we can finally be with each other.

What started as a new and strange thing, turned into a relationship, which turned into love. Or maybe it was love first. I really can't remember, and to tell you the truth, I don't give a damn.

I love Brian, and he loves me, and the two of us are going to be together forever.

Leighanne is out of the picture, she left the hotel last night to go home to their new Atlanta home and pack up Brian's things. She's agreed to try and keep the fact that they are getting divorced a secret for now, and she won't ever tell anyone about me and Brian.

I think that is the hardest thing to understand, the fact that she is actually ok with me and Brian.

I know I sure as hell wouldn't be.

But then again, I'm not her, and DAMN I'm happy about that.

Cuz I get to have Brian, in EVERY possible way.

I lean down and kiss his cheek. It's still the softest thing I know in the world. Well, except for his ass. That's damn soft too. I just love planting sweet kisses at it before I enter him with my cock and fuck him til the both of us fall over panting from our orgasms.

Oh yeah, I love his ass. And I bet you love the mental image I just gave you.

*****

He's awake, I know it. I always know when he's awake, and it's not like he's trying to pretend to be asleep. I'm the one doing that.

I love it though. I love the way he keeps giving me small kisses and the way he can stare at me for what seems like hours.

When I'm awake he's never this patient.

Not that I'm any better, but we're talking about Nick now.

Nick, my lover. My everything.

I'd give up everything I have if I had to, as long as I'd never have to leave him.

Leighanne is out of the picture now, and thank God for that. Just because I couldn't break it off with her I almost lost Nick.

Of course that little fight we had lead to us being discovered by AJ. And one of these days I hope he's gonna stop telling us how he REALLY didn't need to see me and Nick kissing.

If he doesn't shut up soon I'm gonna have to kiss Nick in front of him. Oh yeah, I think I'm gonna do that. Oh my, the look his face would get, it would be priceless. Mental note: Kiss Nick in front of AJ, and ONLY AJ.

Yeah, I remember, the two others know as well.

This is where the only problem with my life right now comes in. Howie and Kevin.

Howie is dealing with it, sorta. He was very close to Leighanne, so I guess he still hasn't completely forgiven Nick. He seems to think that Nick made me cheat on Leighanne. You know, that it's all Nick's fault.

But he's dealing, and he'll get over it. I mean, at least he's behaving like he knows. Kevin doesn't.

You see, Kevin is doing this thing that parents, mothers in particular, seem to be so good at. You know, selective memory. They only remember what they want to remember. Well, that is pretty much Kevin right now.

I mean, he saw me and Nick, naked, on top of each other, in bed. We'd just had sex. How much more does he need to see to understand that we are together?

A lot it seems.

The thing is, he's pretending like he doesn't know about me and Nick. He keeps asking me why Leighanne is leaving, and here the other day he showed me this good looking girl that he wanted me to date, so I could move on.

And he always comments on how he hasn't seen me cry over Leighanne, and that I don't seem sad in general.

I talked to the others about this, and we all agree on what to do. Kevin needs to get over the shock and remember on his own. Until that happens, me and Nick are gonna try and not jump each others bones in front of the others.

Plus, the world is not to know yet, so we have to be careful.

But you know what, I don't care. I don't care about Howie, or Kevin, or the fact that we still have to hide. As long as I can be with Nick, then I'm happy.

 

 

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