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The doors in front of him opens, and Nick walks into the meeting room, trying not to fall over as he feels the panic flow through him.

He shakes his head a little, and it passes. This will not be a problem.

He can do it.

He shakes the hands of the men in the room, smiling back at them. They seem a bit nervous, and look somewhat serious.

That have a good reason though, because this meeting was arranged in a hurry, and Nick is looking rather pale. They are probably afraid that Nick will not be able to return.

They aren't that far off there, because he don't know if he'll ever be able to sing in public again, but that is not why they are here. They are here to tell them about himself and AJ.

To put it short, he is here to officially come out of the closet and tell the world, starting with them.

"Let's get the started then, shall we" Kevin says, getting everyones attention.

"First off, you guys can relax. We are not breaking up or anything like that. This meeting is more of an announcement I guess. But I'm not the right person to talk about it. Nick, if you would."

He turns towards Nick, giving him an opening where he can start.

Nick doesn't quite know how to say this, but he knows he has to.

There is no easy way to tell them, and the best thing to do would be to just talk. Say whatever comes into his mind, and deal with what comes out later on.

"As you know I've been through a lot lately. The accident, it changed me, a lot. It made me look at things differently, in a new light if you will. Or no light I suppose that would be" he says, laughing a little.

"The thing is, I changed far more than any of you could imagine. I had time to look into myself, and to realize things about myself. I found sides of me that I've spent months denying, sides I've tried my best to keep hidden deep within me. That was both stupid and wrong if me, and it took an accident and the loss of my sight for me to realize it."

He stopped a little, studying the four men sitting at the other end of the table. He felt AJ's hand on his tigh, and turned to smile at him, before he went on.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is not something new. It's been this way for a while, I just didn't realize it sooner. You know me, I'm kinda slow"

He laughed again, and they smiled. He could tell they were worried, but he was not. Not anymore at least. It didn't matter if he told them or not. He'd be fine. To know that was a good feeling, and it helped him a lot.

"What I'm spending too many words trying to say is this. I am gay. I like guys, and I dont' wanna hide it anymore. I wanna be able to kiss the one I love in public, and hold his hand. I want the fans to know, and I pray that they will understand"

He had been looking down at the table as he said those last words, and now he looked up to see their reactions.

They were shocked, of course, but he didn't see any signs of disgust, no signs of any of them being like his mother. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Maybe they didn't care.

"I see" one of them said, turning towards Kevin now.

"Did you know about this?"

Kevin looked over at Nick again before he answered.

"I only found out a little while ago. He told Howie, Brian and me along with his mother. That is the reason we're telling you so soon. Nick's mom didn't take it very well, and Nick's afraid she'll tell the tabloids. So we figured that if we come out before they know, then we'll be able to stay in control through it all."

The man nodded, but it seemed something was bothering him.

"You said Mr.Carter told yourself, Mr.Dorough and Mr.Littrell. How about Mr.McLean, did he already know?"

AJ gave Nick a glance before he spoke, feeling that this part should come from him.

"I guess saying that I already knew would be more or less accurate" he said.

"What do you mean?" the man asked.

"Well, the thing is, I am Nick's boyfriend. And that makes me gay also, though I guess that doesn't really come as a surprise to any of you"

The man nodded. This was all very strange, but it wasn't as bad as they had thought. They had been prepared to come here to hear the boys telling them that they were quitting, and this was it and they were breaking up.

"We want to call a press conferance together for tomorrow morning. Tell them that it is about something very important, and that they can expect to be shocked." Nick said, grinning. He was feeling a lot better now, since the management hadn't reacted in any way like his mother.

For the first time in a very long while he felt like things would be ok.

All he had to do was tell the world tomorrow at the press conferance.

He swallowed hard. He had to get through the conferance, and that meant he had to drive and walk outside again.

He suddenly felt a lot worse.

 

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