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AJ smiled as he could see Nick walking slowly towards the car. It had taken him some time to get out of the house, but he had good reason.

Nick's face looked pale though, and he knew this wasn't easy for him. But it was something that had to be done, and it was about time. Nick had to go out sooner or later, and today was as good as any day.

Besides, they didn't have time to take things slow. They didn't have any time at all. Nick's mom might tell the world about the two of them, so they needed to get there first. It was the only way to do it so that Nick would be able to deal with it. It was the only way to do it so that they could come out on top.

He didn't say a word to Nick when he reached the car, but gave him a smile. Nick didn't need words right now.

They got into the car, and the driver started it. It was a pretty big van, and the others were already there. AJ smiled to Kevin and nodded, Nick was doing OK so far. Now all they could hope was that not too many fans was waiting outside the Firm. They tended to be everywhere they were, so he knew there would be some. But that was not what Nick needed right now, not at all.

Right now, Nick needed time to let things settle, time to get his mind sorted out. He was a wreck right now, his face white and his hands trembling.

AJ leaned over and took his hand, holding it tightly and letting his thumb run small circles in the palm of Nick's hand. Nick turned to him and smiled weakly.

"Thank you" he said.

AJ looked at him and smiled, leaning in to kiss him gently on the cheek.

"Why are you thanking me love?" he asked.

"For everything. For being you." Nick said, the smile getting a little bigger.

AJ could feel tears falling down his cheeks as he kissed Nick again, this time on the mouth.

"There's no need to thank me. I love you honey, and you're doing great."

Nick felt tears forming in his own eyes as he saw AJ cry.

"Don't cry" he said, and kissed AJ, wanting to make the tears go away.

"I'll be fine" AJ said in between two kisses. And it was true, he would be fine. Whenever he was with Nick, he was more than fine, he as in heaven.

*****

Nick looked down at his hands. They were shaking again. Shivers kept running down his spine, and he felt like he was going to be sick.

He looked out the window of the van again. There were only about ten fans or so, but he knew they had to stop and sign autographs. And that meant he had to stay outside longer. He wanted to run inside, but knew he couldn't. Fans didn't like it if he ran pass them, and he couldn't deal with people calling him an asshole for walking by them, not today, not now.

Kevin and Howie were already outside, taking their time with the fans. They knew that AJ would get Nick through this. They hoped he would.

Brian looked at Nick, and then over to AJ.

"He really doesn't look that good"

"I know" AJ replied.

"We'll walk him quick past the fans. He's so pale, we'll just tell them he's really ill. They'll understand."

AJ nodded. "With what?" he suddenly asked.

"Huh?" was all Brian could say. Now what was he talking about?

"What does he have? Phnemonia?"

Realization ran through Brian, and he nodded. "Sounds good" he said.

"Alright then. Nicky, time to go" AJ said, and grabbed Nick's hand, ready to walk him through this hell and into safety.

*****

Nick kept his eyes on the ground as they emerged from the van. Brian and AJ walked next to him, one on each side, protecting him from the more crazy fans, teeling them that they were sorry, but he was ill.

They must have been convincing, because the fans let him be alone. Og course, that could have something to do with his white face and the fact that his hands were shaking like crazy. He closed his eyes, and almost fell over something.

"Come on Nick baby, you can do this" AJ whispered in his ear. Nick tried to smile, but he couldn't. Right now it just felt like his world was going to collapse. He had to tell the world, and he was so not ready for this.

That didn't mean he could just walk away though. This meeting was happening now, and there was no getting away from it.

For a second he felt better, now that they were inside, and moving towards the elevator, but then he remembered why they were there, and his hands started to shake again.

"It's gonna be ok" he can hear someone say. It's not AJ, for he is standing right next to him, and he didn't see his lips move.

"Just relax, it's gonna be ok"

It's Brian.

Lovely Brian who always cared about him.

His best friend.

They are all his best friends, and AJ's his lover, and today he's gotta tell people about that. He's told the guys, he's told his mom, and now he gotta tell the management, and tomorrow, tomorrow it's the world.

But it has to be done. They have to be strong. They are strong. They'll live through this, and it doesn't matter what people say.

The truth is, telling isn't what has him all shaking. He knew that had to happen sooner or later. No, the problem is being outside. Since the accident it's the one thing he hates the most, the outside world. He used to love it, and now it scares him more than anything else in the world.

He can see the elevator doors open.

Then he's walking down the hall towards the meeting room.

He swallows and tries to stand straight. Right now he has to look like he's as calm as ever, like nothing in the world is bothering him. The others looks at him and smiles.

He looks at them and smiles as well, the color returning to his face.

"Let's do this"

 

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