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"Oh my God. What am I gonna do?" Nick says, turning to look at the other guys. AJ gave him a small smile and walked up to him, bringing his arms around the waist of the younger man.

"I don't know Nicky love. Isn't there only one thing to do?" he asked. Nick pulled away from the embrace a little, staring into AJ's eyes.

"What do you mean?" he asked, now looking slightly nervous.

"You told the guys here, and your mom. I'm sure she'll tell you dad and the others. I think it's time we tell the management. Before your mom does something stupid."

AJ shook his head. He couldn't understand why he had just said that about Nick's mom, but it was true. Only yesterday he had thought she'd have no problem handling it, and that she would understand that she had to keep her mouth shut. Now though, he wasn't so sure. Now, he was afraid that she would tell the wrong people, and that Nick and his little secret would be on the front page tomorrow.

That thought scared him, because he knew that Nick wasn't ready for that yet. It would take time. After the accident, he was more reserved than before. Hell, he hadn't been out of the house since that day. How he would react if the world found out he was gay tomorrow AJ didn't even wanna think about.

"I know she will"

AJ snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Nick.

"What do you mean?" he asked, now not understanding anything.

"AJ, don't you see. My mom don't like gay people. My mom is on her way to tell my dad, and probably the rest of my family. My mom will then call the press, and sell the story to the highest bidder. It's not like she hasn't done that sort of things before"

AJ's face was the image of disbelief. What was Nick talking about. His mom had done something like that before?

"Nick, what do you mean?"

"How do you think the tabloid knew I had problems with my weight, knew that I had a girl, knew that she hit me once. They knew all this, and more, because my mom told them. That's just her way of making money off me. The world'll know, tomorrow at the latest."

"Then I think we should call a meeting with the Firm today"

Nick and AJ turned to look at Kevin.

"Today?" Nick said, panic creeping over his face at the very thought of going outside.

"Today Nick. They need to be prepared, and so do we. If the press knows tomorrow, then we all need to be ready to deal with it. We can't let them surprise us, can't let them get under our skin. We gotta stay in control. It's the only way."

AJ nodded. Kevin was right. If the press did know by tomorrow, they had to be able to answer any questions like it was no big deal. If they let the press know that this was a weak point, then they would be all over Nick and him. He thought he could deal with it, but he knew Nick wouldn't be able to. Not now.

*****

Nick looked at the door in front of him. This was it, he had to go through it.

He didn't want to, he didn't think he could. Ever since the accident, the mere thought of going outside made him feel sick. But he knew he had to. Everything was at stake now, and it was not just about him anymore, now it was about him adn AJ.

AJ.

Nick felt a bit better when the image of his boyfriend came into his mind, but then he remembered that he had to go outside, and everything was wrong again. It was like his world was spinning, like the walls were dancing around him. He knew he was hallucinating, but that didn't make it go away. He knew he had to face his fears, had to go outside.

Hell, he was a Backstreet Boy, he was Nick Carter. He was used to stand in front of thousands singing. He had never had a problem with going outside before. He had never been afraid of his own shadow before.

Now he was.

After he had lost his sight it was like he had lost his will to live. That was close to two weeks ago. He had been stranded in this house, not able to see a damn thing. He'd been alone, until a stranger had come to him. That had been AJ, and he had made all the pain go away, along with the blindness.

AJ had been the one who made him believe in living again. AJ had been his savior.

AJ still was.

Nick let his hand touch the door knob, and stopped, willing the sickening feeling to go away. It would be safe to go outside. Nothing bad would happen to him. He couldn't just stop going outside because he was afraid, because the last time he'd done that he had lost his sight. That wasn't gonna happen again, and he had AJ now. AJ would keep him safe.

He knew the others were waiting outside in the car. Knew they would be late because of him. Knew they didn't care. They wouldn't rush him, wouldn't tell him to move it. They would let him take his time, and he was grateful because of that.

With a smile and a huge intake of breath, he opened the door.

 


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© WHYTEknight 2002-2008. This story is fiction, which means it is not true, none of this is real. Any actions similar to reality is just a coincidence. This story may be based on real people, but it is not about real events. I do not know the Backstreet Boys, nor am I in any way affiliated with them, their friends, family or management. Again, this is a work on fiction, I made it up!

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