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Nick loved waking up like this, next to AJ. He still couldn't believe it was true. He was actually together with AJ. And not in a friendship I'm-just-gonna-hang-with-AJ-today kinda way. No, this was the real thing.

This was a relationship.

And on days like today, it scared the living shit out of him.

They hadn't been together that long really. Only for about a week. One week in which he had regained his sight, and his body had healed, or so the doctors told him. His body may not bear a visible sign of what he had gone through, but his mind did, and AJ knew this.

He was the only one who knew.

AJ knew why today was such a hard day for Nick. He knew why Nick was still lying in bed, trying to make the moment last forever.

Today was the day Nick had to go out.

He'd had his sight back for a week, but he just couldn't make himself get out of the house. He couldn't make himself walk down the steps outside and let the sunshine fall on his body once again.

Nick was scared. He was scared to death of anything that was outside. Ever since he had lost his sight he had seemed more nervous, and even the thought of going outside had made him feel sick.

AJ knew if was a side effect of the car crash, he knew that Nick had gotten more psycological damage than physical. It was all in Nick's head now, and only he could win against himself, only he could take the first step outside.

All AJ could do was be there for him.

*****

"You gonna wake up any time soon Nick?" AJ asked, leaning down to kiss his lover's forehead.

"Hmn. Soon" Nick said, his voice sounding raspy. AJ didn't like that. Nick's forehead had seemed a bit warm as well.

"Get up Nicky" he said, walking into the bathroom, where he found a cloth and dipped it in cold water before he walked back into the bedroom where Nick was now sitting up in bed.

"Put this on your forehead love, and I'll make you some tea."

Nick took the cloth and smiled to AJ.

"Thank you. Loads of sugar" he reminded him before AJ dissappeared from the room to go downstairs.

AJ shook his head at Nick, muttering. "Nicky on a sugar high. Maybe it'll help. He'll need all the help he can get today. Man I wish we could wait a bit longer, but I guess that's not possible. You can only keep a mother away from her child for THAT long you know"

*****

AJ dropped three spoons of sugar in Nick's tea, turing towards the staircase as he heard Nick walking down. He smiled at him and brought his tea over to him, and they both sat down at the table.

"You ready for today?" AJ asked, watching Nick for any signs that he wasn't comfortable talking about this.

"Not really" he said, and turned to look straight into AJ's eyes. "Do we have to tell them today?" he asked nervously.

AJ smiled and let his hand run down Nick's cheek, leaning in to kiss him gently on the mouth.

"I think we do. You know as well as I do that if we keep it secret, then in the end it'll blow up in our faces. We need to be in control of this, we need to be the ones to tell people. I don't want anyone to find out through some tabloid, do you?"

Nick smiled a small smile, but AJ could see that it barely reached the blonde's eyes. Nick didn't like the fact that they were telling anyone, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

"You know I don't want that to happen. But I just don't know if I can deal with telling my mom, the guys and the management right away. I'm afraid that someone isn't gonna accept this, and tell us we can't do it. I need you AJ, and I don't wanna loose you now, and I'm afraid that if we tell people, I might. But I'm ready. And I know we have to be in control. Just promise me you'll always stay by my side, no matter what"

AJ leaned in close again, his forehead resting against Nick's.

"I promise"

*****

Nick finished the cup of tea and looked at AJ. "Thank you" he said.

AJ leaned in close to him and kissed him again, tasting the sweet tea on Nick's lips, pressing against them and asking for permission to enter his mouth.

Nick's hand made it's way around AJ's head and held him closer as his mouth opened, welcoming AJ into it with his tongue. AJ let his tongue move slowly inside Nick's mouth, taking it's time. His hand reached around Nick's head and rested at the nape of his neck, playing with his hair in one of his favoruite spots.

It also happened to be one of Nick's hot spots, and he could feel Nick's breathing quickening at his touch.

He wanted so much more than to simply kiss Nick, but the sound of a car engine shutting off outside told him that the others had arrived.

He pulled away from Nick, panting, trying his best to control his breathing.

Nick gave him one more kiss before he walked over to his door and opened it, welcoming his mother and the rest of the fellas.

"Nickolas. Oh my little boy. It is so good to see you again. Oh, why can't you just stay home with the rest of us. I don't like it when you live here all by yourself. Oh Nickolas, you should have let me come by sooner. I missed you. So does.." she trailed off as Kevin placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It's his choice to make Mrs. Carter, and AJ's been living here with him, so he's not alone." he said with a smile in AJ's direction.

"Let's sit down" AJ said, leading them all into the living room. He sat down in one of the chairs, and was surprised to find Nick sitting down next to him, squeezing into the chair, sitting more on top of him than next to him.

The others sat down on the couch, except for Brain who took the remaining chair.

"So" Kevin said, looking at Nick and AJ. "You wanted to talk to us Nick?"

Nick nodded, and turned to look at AJ. All AJ could do was smile at him. They had to do this. They had to tell the others now. They deserved to know the thruth about them, and besides, they didn't want to hide anymore. One week was more than enough.

"There's something I have to tell you guys. I..I guess I should have told you sooner, but it hasn't really been that clear to me until the accident. I guess I just needed a week or so to get used to the idea myself."

"What is it son?" Mrs.Carter asked, suddenly looking nervous. Nick turned to look at AJ again, and AJ smiled to him. "It's ok Nick" he whispered.

"OK, here it goes. Mom, guys, I...I'm...I'm gay"

AJ looked around in the room, studying everyones reaction. Kevin's mouth hung open, and he was simply staring at Nick. Howie looked surprised, but gave Nick a smile that told him that he was OK with it. Brian got up and gave Nick a hug, telling him that it was alright. And Mrs.Carter seemed to be in shock. She was Nick's mom, but she was also the person Nick had been most reluctant to tell. Maybe he'd had a good reason.

"You're what?" she asked again.

"Mom, I like guys. One guy to be presise."

"WHO?" she yelled, tears falling from her eyes. Nick glanced at AJ, and it seemed like the rest of the guys understood who it was Nick liked, for Brian gave AJ a smile and raised his eyebrows questionaly. AJ nodded and grinned at them.

"Mom, take it easy. It's not like I've changed. I just like guys instead of girls that's all. I'm still the same Nick"

Mrs. Carter stood up suddenly, staring at Nick.

"No you're not he same. You're no longer my Nick. I don't understand how we could have failed. What did we do to make this happen. Who did this to you Nick? Who made you gay?"

"Mom, nobody made me gay. I was gay long before AJ came to me. He didn't make me gay. He just helped me realize it"

"AJ" she screamed, turning towards him now.

"What did you do to my son?"

"Nothing" AJ said, not understanding why she reacted this way. What was up with her?

"You must have done something?" she asked, now looking very angry.

"All I did was fall in love with him" AJ said, looking at Nick.

Nick turned to look at him.

"You love me?"

"Of course I do Nicky." he said, bringing his hands around his waist and smiling to him.

"I love you too" Nick said, and leaned down to kiss him.

That was more than enough for Mrs.Carter, who walked out, slammed the door, and drove away.

 

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